I take a deep breath and walk out the locker room door. The week started off pretty well, but is rapidly turning shitty. I would say I have the flu and I can't fight this week, but that would be a lie. No, the only thing wrong with me today is I'm heartbroken. Anna left our gang with no explanation whatsoever. I though she and I were friends. I am seriously perplexed. Also, I don't know the future of this gang. I have come to respect and love all the girls in it. I thought we were all so close. And to top things off, I have to fight Justine. I know Justine is probably the meanest, most vicious bitch in BGEW. I'm in serious trouble if I can't clear my head.
I really don't know where my other gang members are. Double Trouble has been away celebrating their win last week. My beautiful Gemma has a fight of her own. Josie is away and hasn't answered my emails yet. Jackie has sent messages saying she's staying, but she is upset by her partner's treachery. Poor Laurie walked in on a firestorm. I hope she doesn't lose interest. But today I'm alone.
I walk across the open field toward the back fence. Since it's winter, the grass is still a hard, brown stubble. The ground is cold and hard. The day trying to warm up, so I chose to wear a pair of crimson running shorts and a black sports bra for the fight. As always, I'll be barefooted, although I'm wearing sandals as I walk across the field right now.
As I approach the back fence, I see a figure leaning against the fence. As I draw closer, I see that it's Justine. And then I see another figure standing close beside her. Now I feel even more alone. She has Jayne with her. I stop and stare for just a moment. I nearly turn and run. But then I continue toward them. I am all alone. My pride won't let me run away, though.
The closer I get it becomes apparent that Justine isn't taking her eyes off me. She just stares as Jayne whispers in her ear. Justine is impressive! She stands right at 5'7" and weighs 135 lbs. Her straight dark brown hair is pulled back in a high ponytail, but she is wearing a dark blue baseball cap with a police patch on it. She really is a cop. One of the most cruel, vicious, and vindictive ones on the streets. She likes to hurt people. And not only if they are defenseless. She revels in resistance to her authority. Her nightstick and taser are constant companions. Fortunately for me, she is unarmed today. Her eyes are covered with round, mirrored sunglasses, but I know her cold blue eyes are locked on me. She hates me. With good reason, but that is another story. She just leans with one foot propped up on the wooden three-rail fence staring. Her arms crossed.
I approach the pair and walk to a fence post as far from them as I can get. Without saying a word, I remove my white hoodie and kick off my sandals. I stretch my 5'2" 115 lbs body trying to get the blood flowing. But my heart isn't in it. I feel sad and alone. Like a sheep in a slaughterhouse.
While I stretch, I suddenly notice a shadow hovering over me. I look up and look straight at Jayne's bellybutton.
"What the fuck do you want, Jayne?" I ask, continuing to stretch.
"I didn't recruit Anne. She came to us," she replies.
I rise up and stare at her for a moment. Then I say, "Whatever Bitch. She can go down with the rest of you."
"I was asking Justine not to hurt you too badly. You look sad. I tried, but she just shrugged me off. Goodbye, and good luck, Joni."
I look up just in time to see Jayne and Justine exchange smiles and a knowing wink. My heart sinks even farther. I really, really, really don't want to be here today. I lower my eyes and pull my dark hair back in a ponytail as Justine unzips her black jacket and slides it off. Then she takes off her dark blue sweatpants and black running shoes. When I face her she is wearing a white sports bra and dark blue running shorts. She still has her sunglasses on her face, but she takes them off as I tell her, "I'm ready whenever you are, Justine."
Just as the sentence ends, Justine whips quickly around and slams the back of her fist into the bridge of my nose.
Pain and horror explode in my head...as my nose explodes in a shower of blood...and I fall back against the fence. I try to cover up but Justine is on me too quickly. "I told you not to fuck with me Jonica," she growls as she rains punches down on my head and shoulders. I try to duck away, but she grabs my ponytail and forces my face down to meet her rising knee. Fortunately, my hands are covering my injured nose. Unfortunately, her knee slams across my knuckles and my left hand immediately goes numb. I fear it may be broken. The sickening impact seems to excite Justine even more. Still clutching my ponytail, she leads me over to the fence like a dog and rams me face-first into the hard, weathered top rail three times. Then she lets me go.
I slump against the rail as blood and tears stream down my face. I'm terribly over-matched here, and if I can't do something quickly, she may kill me.
I lean against the fence as my mind races trying to figure out something to do to stop this brutal onslaught. I pull myself by holding onto the fence rails, but Justine's knee slams hard into my lower back, driving me face first into the wood rails again. Pain floods my body and sweat, blood, and tears stream down my face and onto my neck. I try to pull myself back up, but Justine assists me by grabbing my hair and yanking me until I'm on my feet.
I stagger a little as she holds me up by my hair and then I half turn and drive the point of my elbow into her cheek. The blow is hard enough for my eyes to water and for my arm to go numb. But it works. Justine releases my hair and staggers backwards howling in shock and pain. Then she stumbles and falls onto her butt.
My nose and left hand hurt like hell and now my elbow is numb. But I manage to face Justine as she lies on the ground holding her swelling cheek. I stagger over to her and kick her in the belly with my heel as hard as I can. She drops to the grass and tries to cover herself, and I stumble and drop to my knees beside her. I try to rise but her foot snakes out and drives hard into my thigh. I yelp in pain and fall onto the hard, stubbly field.
My eyes are watery still from the initial blow to my nose, and my body feels like I've been beaten with a hammer. The problem is, the fight is only a few minutes old. There is no way I can survive a long, drawn out fight with her. If that happens, two thirds will be her destroying me. I can't let that happen. But my heart just isn't in the fight right now.
We both rise to our knees and face each other. Apparently my elbow to her chin had more affect than I thought. She almost seems groggy. Then she lashes out with a sudden right jab that catches me on my exposed chin (I never claimed to be a boxer). Stars explode before my eyes and pain radiates into my brain. All I can hear is roaring in my ears as I collapse backwards and an internal voice shouting for me to "move"! I fall onto my back and immediately roll to my left against the hard wooden fence.
Over my shoulder I hear Justine cry out in shock. I look back and see her limping around...staring at me in disbelief. The only thing I can think of is she tried to stomp me but I rolled away and she slammed her foot into the ground. It's obvious she is in pain.
I grab the bottom fence rail and pull myself onto my knees. I rise up just in time to get a knee in the small of my back. I collapse back the ground, and then I feel my sports bra being yanked. I try to yank forward away from her grasp, but the fence is a barrier. Justine manages to pull my backward about ten feet across the course, rough, cold dead winter grass. My body feels like it's on fire, but then things get progressively worse.
Justine manages to pull my bra up over my face after some tugging and yanking. I try to pull away and that makes her chore even easier. After a moment, she stops yanking and drops both her knees into my bare stomach. The air explodes out of me with a whoosh and I go limp with even more pain. Justine even starts laughing at my predicament as I gasp in pain and gulp in air.
With her knees firmly in my belly, Justine grabs my now bare nipples and twists as if she is trying to rip them off. I howl in terror and agony, but the noise only comes out as harsh gasp from my empty lungs. My eyes fly open in shock and fear. My mouth forms a noiseless O. My knees bend and my feet slap the dead grass as she tries to tear my sore breasts from my chest. I look up into my tormentor's face and see a look of absolute gleeful cruelty.
Fear can be a powerful motivator. And right now I'm scared to death. I can't help but think that Justine not only wants to win this fight. She wants to completely destroy me. I plant my bare feet on the ground and push up with them at the same time i buck my hips wildly. Justine has her knees in my belly and she seems a little surprised at my sudden burst of energy. But I keep it up and I'm soon rewarded as Justine loses her balance and falls off me. She releases my breasts to regain her balance. I buck upward, and shove her farther off balance. I push backwards and scoot across the grass and try to pull my sports bra down before she gets to her feet. I have to buy some time to recover.
But time isn't on my side. Before I can recover, Justine climbs to her feet and slowly approaches me. A smile forms on her lips as she draws near. I frantically try to put as much distance between us as possible, but the hard, wooden fence stops my retreat. There is nowhere to go. I'm trapped like a fly in a spider web, and Justine looks as if she’s about to devour me.
I try to scramble to my feet, but a knee driven into my belly stops any hope of that. Justine then grabs my throat with one hand and rams my head backwards into a fence post until I'm nearly unconscious. Thoughts swirl through my head...."Why am I here? Why do I do this to myself? How did I let my gang nearly crumble? Can I do anything right?....
A few moments later, I'm slumped against the fence. My legs stretched out in front of me. All I can do is watch while Justine slowly dismantles me. She squeezes one hand on my throat, effectively cutting off my air supply. My face turns red and then purple as her thumb slowly closes my windpipe. My fingers pry feebly at her wrists, but there is little I can do to stop this now. The day is growing dimmer by the second, but it's the middle of the afternoon. The air seems colder, but the sun drenches the land with a weak lemon colored hue. My blood roars in my ears, and even the pain that I was so aware of such a short time ago is fading away. The end is drawing near, and there is nothing I can do to stop it.
But the end apparently isn't what is motivating Justine. Just as I'm starting to slip off to dreamland, I'm suddenly jolted back to reality by her fist driving into my belly button at a downward angle. I lips part in a silent gasping scream, but there is not air to escape my lungs. The pain comes back in waves and only gets much worse as her knee hammers into the center of my chest. The blow was so severe; my head snaps back and slams into the hard fence post. I collapse onto my side in a tearful heap. I try to utter my submission, but nothing comes out of my tortured lungs. All I can manage are some weak gasps and moans. I try to tap the ground as a means of submission, but Justine stops this my stomping her bare foot down across my fingers. I can vaguely here my tormentor laughing and saying, "You asked for this, little girl. I get to choose when it's over."
I struggle to get to my knees but I’m rewarded with a hard kick to the kidneys forcing me back to the ground. I get my knees under me once again and try to rise as Justine laughs at my feeble efforts. Finally, she grabs the back of my sports bra and pulls me to my knees. After a moment, she helps me to my feet. I stagger backwards a bit as my eyes try to focus through the hazy pain. My balance unsteady, I rock back and forth on my feet. Justine takes a couple steps toward me and pushes me into the hard fence and whispers something under breath…something she knows will infuriate me! I gather what strength I have left and rush off the fence toward her. Just as I near, she stands her ground and suddenly I see her leg start to rise and her foot arch out toward me, but my body won’t react in time to avoid her movement. Justine’s heel slams into my oncoming chin like a sledgehammer. I stop as if a bullet has hit me, but my lower body continues as my head snaps back. I am virtually unconscious by the time my shoulder blades hit the ground. I gasp once, try to sit up and then the world goes completely black as my head falls back to the ground and my body relaxes with a defeated sigh.
As if in a dream, I can hear Justine talking to me. I hear her laugh and say, “Jayne ordered me to send your pathetic little mob a message. She told me to clip your wings a bit. So take this as a message from her.” I can see her face behind my eyelids as she speaks and I can clearly see Jayne in my mind’s eye issuing orders from her throne. I hate that bitch more than she will ever guess. But suddenly my dream becomes a nightmare as my foot slams over and over into the wooden fence post. I shriek in agony as I come roaring back to consciousness. Justine has my bare foot pressed against the post with my heel next to her foot. Suddenly she drives her heel into mine causing the top of foot and ankle to slam against the fence post. She does this as I scream and cry my submission, but she refuses to stop until she hears a sickening crunch. I black out again as red and black pain washes over me in waves. My body relaxes again as I hear Justine laughing.
I wake up to the pitter-patter of falling rain. The temperature has dropped dramatically, but I can’t feel it. My body is completely numb. I slowly open my eyes and find that my head is the only thing I can move. My face is stiff from dried blood, tears and dried chicken shit streaked across my face like Native American war paint. To my shock, the only thing I can see besides total darkness in the field is Jayne standing in front of me.
“I didn’t want this, Jonica. But I had to send you a message. I didn’t want this at all. I take no pleasure in seeing you hurt, but you asked for this. Please stop so I won’t have to do this again.”
I can only watch as she starts snipping the chicken wire binding me to the fence with a pair of tiny wire cutters.
“ Please get the message this time.” She says in my ear as she cuts the last wire and allows me to flop to the ground. I moan in pain. My foot feels like a swollen lump at the end of my leg. Jayne wraps a blanket around me and says, “I’ll call Gemma shortly and tell her where you are. Please don’t fuck with us again.”
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